King: See my son, there’s a very fine line between love and nausea.
Prince Akeem: But when I marry, I want the woman to love me for who I am, not because of what I am.
Semmi: Where will you find such a woman?
Akeem: What does dumb fuck mean?
Landlord: All right, here we are. There's only one bathroom on this floor, so you're going to have to share it. We got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. And another thing, don't use the elevator. It's a death trap. This is the place I was telling you about. It's real fucked up. Got just one window facing a brick wall. Used to rent it to a blind man... damn shame what they did to that dog.
Akeem: Good morning my neighbors!
Devil Lady: I got a secret. I worship the devil.
Stuck-up girl: I’m not interested in a man unless he drives a BMW.
Married lady: Yeah, well, you know baby I’m almost single, my husbands on death row.
Soul grip lady: I was Joan of Arc in my former life.
Akeem: Is it my imagination or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?
Sweets: That boys good.
Randy Watson: Sexual Chocolate!
Maurice: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
Akeem: When you think of garbage, think of Akeem.
Prince Akeem: Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?
Telegraph Lady: You actually want to send this?
King Jaffe Joffer: And who are you?
Prince Akeem: I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!
King Jaffe Joffer: Wrong. You are a PRINCE who has never tied his shoes. Believe me. I tied my own shoes once. It is an overrated experience.
Akeem: In America.
Neighbor: Hey fuck you!
Akeem: Yes! Yes! Fuck you too!
Mr. Clarence: Yeah good and terrible.
Cleo McDowell: No, I didn't.
Prince Akeem: Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory.
Cleo McDowell: Son.
Prince Akeem: Yes?
Cleo McDowell: If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.
Prince Akeem: Yes.
Semmi: Why? What is wrong? Read it to me.
Telegraph Lady: To His Majesty, King Jaffe Joffer, The Royal Palace, Zamunda. Sire, Akeem and I have depleted our funds. Kindly send 300, 000 American dollars immediately, as we are in dire straits. Your humble servant, Semi.
Semmi: Semmi
Telegraph Lady: Semmi.
Semmi: Should I make it 400,000?
Telegraph Lady: You think that'd be enough?
Semmi: You are right. 500,000.
Telegraph Lady: As long as you're asking, why not go for a cool million?
Semmi: You do not think that would be too much?
Telegraph Lady: Naah.